Well, I'm going to do something that I don't normally do. I'm going to get a little on the personal side. Sweet Pea started her big year of Fourth Grade yesterday. The big deal is that she is in a new school....but not just any new school. It's the same school that I went to, my Mom went to and my Grandma went to. In fact, Sweet Pea even has the same Fourth Grade teacher that I had (and my brother too!). I know that this is a great opportunity for her. She is going to thrive at this school....it is one of the best in the state. She already has a couple close friends and many of my old classmates have kids in her class too.
So, why did I cry after dropping her off? I didn't even cry when I dropped her off at Kindergarten for the first time. It could be that I'm 29 weeks pregnant and I have my usual morning hormone surge. More likely though, it's me.
I never thought that we'd 'come back home'. It's difficult for me to get over my personal hang-ups about being back where I said I'd never be again. After being in the city, it's hard to come back to a small town. It's hard to lose that independence and realize that you're going to be around all the people that you've known since you were 4 years old.
On the other hand, I don't want to leave either. My daughter is going to have the best opportunities here with school and friends. My younger children will have family members close to take part in them growing up, just like their older sister had. I will have support that we never had living in the city. I'll have family and friends that I can call when I need something and I'll have my group of mom friends to lean on. I can walk to the grocery store, the post office and the doctor. The kids can walk home from school. The freedom that they'll have is amazing; walking to friends' houses and playing outside without mom having to be right there watching the whole time. We'll know all the kids in town and which High Schoolers are the best baby sitters. There's a very big upside to being in a small town where you know everyone. More importantly, we'll have that sense of community that we longed for in the city and we'll finally have that sense that we belong.
So, maybe being home again isn't such a bad thing.