Monday, June 4, 2012

Trials of a Parent

I have been trying for months now to figure out how to dip my toe into the proverbial pool of controversial subjects.  It started over a year ago with talks of vaccinations causing autism and then the staggering evidence that the doctor conducting that study was out right falsifying all of his information...to the point where he was including subjects that were not even real people.  I really wanted to voice my opinion on vaccinations, and I have here and there hinted on my stance with that subject....but I didn't know how to approach it so that both sides would be able to read and understand my points without being offended.  Same with the subject of circumcision.  That came up when we were pregnant with Little Man.  I would love to tell you my reasoning behind my personal decision, but I don't want to sway anyone's decision one way or the other on it.  Basically because it is just that....a personal decision.

So now, this post has come up to choice and judgement.

As a parent, we are all judged.  It goes with the territory.  And we are judged mainly on the choices we make.  No matter what decision you make for yourself and your children, there will always be someone out there who is judging that decision...whether they are judging it in a fair light, knowing that you are a good parent.  Or judging you silently (or sometimes very loudly) on the terrible mistake that you are making.  But no matter what...that decision is yours.  So own it.

What I mean by that is make sure that you are understanding the decisions that you are making and stand firm in your convictions.  Whether it's something like vaccinations and circumcisions or choosing cloth diapers and making your own baby food.  When it comes to your children's well being, make sure that your decision is an educated one.  Ask your doctors, family members and friends with children.  If you are searching online, search not only your preferred choice, but the opposite way too.  You'll be surprised at how much information you'll find on both sides of the subject you are looking for.  Many times, you will find that the information that stirs the pot and causes panic and fear are not necessarily correct.  In fact, most of the time if people have to take advantage of the already present paranoia in a parent...it is probably because they want their incorrect choices to be validated; to make them feel that the wrong decision could be right if enough people go along with it.  Most times those loud, scary ideas are like the monster under the bed for parents.  We know it's not true, but the thought can make it seem like it is.  Sometimes that fear can take over our better judgement.

If I can give you any advice at all it is this:  Trust your instinct.  You are the person who knows yourself and your family the best.  If something seems off, then it is.  If someone is telling you something that makes you question what they are saying, then research it a some more before taking their word for it.  Only use reputable sources for online information....don't trust just any .org.  If you have a question about something that deals with diet, sleep, behavior, development or anything else medical...ask your doctor first.  Also, ask a nurse.  They are a wonderful source for information too.  If your doctor says something that just doesn't sit right, ask a different doctor.  A second opinion can confirm or relieve your suspicions.

It's OK to be a cloth diapering, baby wearing, breast feeding parent and not jump on every bandwagon that goes by.  Don't buy into hype....just raise your family the way you know is best.  And as for those judgments....if you know in your heart that you are making the best decision for yourself and your family, then let it roll off your back.

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If any parents need a little support in their decisions or want to know what my personal choices are and why I made them, I would be glad to share in an email.  Maybe someday I will get the courage to actually write a post about them.

1 comment:

  1. Choosing our actions is what makes us parents. Loving our children and doing the best we possibly can for them is what makes us awesome parents. Great post!

    ~Mummie

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